Guys are Jerks

Guys are jerks.

I suppose some of this could be my fault. OK. Most of this can be my fault. You know, lack of communication and all that rot. You, dear reader, can let me know in the comments section below.

I have a profile on OK Cupid. Do I realize this is a dating website? Yes. Do I realize most of the guys on here are only after one thing and one thing only? Of course. I'm pretty good about filtering the creeps from the good-intention guys. However... I'm thinking I need to just get rid of my profile. Or add a photo which is actually just text reading "do not message me if you are only interested in sex or friends with benefits. I DO NOT WANT either of those at this time. I don't want to make out or fool around. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm new to the area and was hoping there were other people who are also new who are looking for other single people to do things with."

But that's kind of long. So why not just delete the whole profile?

Here's what happened.

I met a guy on there. We had been talking for a few weeks. He seemed nice -- He was in the navy, originally from a southern state, a total geek and proud of it (all pluses in my book!). We met. I had a feeling he was maybe thinking he might get to a few bases with me which is why, when he would suggest meeting up for movies at his place, I would make excuses. (Also, stranger danger much? Geeze.) We were talking on Sunday and I mentioned I was going to watch the sunset that night since I hadn't seen one in a while since starting my new job. He invited himself along and I told him I'd pick him up, even though he offered to pick me up (a girl needs her escape vehicle, after all).

We went to the beach and sat in what little shade there was (he's fair skinned and burns easily and does not like the feel of sunscreen. Whatever). We sat on the beach and talked from about 5PM to 6:20PM (sunset). It was great conversation. We could be friends, in another world. But Sailor Boy decided to tickle me.

I do not like people to touch me.

It's this thing I have and it's rather uncomfortable to talk about. It started sometime in high school for absolutely no reason which I can recall. And I've not really had that much human contact in the past almost two months... So, yeah.

I made a face and he continued. Then he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we just sat there, listening to the ocean and watching the water. We started talking again for a while. He shifted again, this time with my back to his chest. Alright. Interesting. He kissed my neck twice. I went pretty rigid.

And that's as far as he went. I appreciate his respect for my wishes.

We sat that way for a while, still talking. His lips behaved themselves for the rest of the sunset. I drove him back to the park and ride where we met and that was the end of the date.

So. Monday went by. On Tuesday around lunch, I sent him a message asking if he wanted to go to an event in about 2 weeks. He said he wasn't sure and he'd have to check his schedule. Fair enough. It was two weeks away, after all. Wednesday passed. Thursday, too. Friday he wants me to come over for a movie. Translation: "come over so we can fool around."

I said no.

Which was harder than it should have been. He's nice, I'm lonely. But I'm not looking for anything physical like that right now, even if it's just a one-off and we never see each other again. That's not who I am and that's not how I want to live my life. So. After I explained this he ended the conversation with an "Aww I see". And I haven't heard from him since. Nor do I expect he'll be messaging me in the future. I don't fit into the mold he was looking for.

And that's fine.

What happens next is why I'm writing this blog post.

I've been trying to get together with this Chef guy. He works evenings/nights while I work days and wake up at an ungodly hour in the morning, thus, an early bedtime. We were suppose to meet up today in Waikiki and he was going to take me snorkeling and out to lunch. After the conversation I had with Sailor Boy I figured I should warn this guy, you know. Give him an easy out, just in case. So, of course, I over reacted and spat verbal diarrhea to his phone in this form:

"Just so we have an understanding... because looking back on our previous conversations this may or may not have been clear on my end... I'm ONLY looking for friends right now. No fooling around, no cuddling, no making out. I'm not at that level right now. But dating nothing couldn't happen in the future, after we've been friends for a bit, but I'm not looking for anything AT ALL choose to a relationship or friends with benefits.

"Sorry to blow up your phone... Just making sure it's been said."

 Looking back... Yeah, I don't know if that made perfect sense. But the response I received the next morning (since he was a work when I sent the message) was "Hey im not trying to make anyone uncomfortable lets just meet for late lunch around 1 or 2?" which I thought was very nice and responded with "Thanks. It totally had nothing to do with anything you said or did. There was a miscommunication last night that left me irritated. Thus the phone blowing up."

So I got on a bus and headed to Waikiki. I sent him a message when I got to downtown and was switching buses. No response. I called him when I got off the bus in Waikiki. No answer.

Eff you, stupid boy.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I found a spot to sit under a palm tree and called my older sister. And told her everything. Because that's what you do when you know your sister is bored at work and she's being held captive by her job until she gets off in a few hours.

I spent about 90 minutes total talking with her. It was nice and we caught up on a bunch of things. Yay!

Do I blame him for not answering either text or phone call? No, not really. But if you're going to stand a girl up after she's taken an hour and a half out of her day to catch a bus and meet you in your hometown instead of halfway between your place and her place... It's only proper etiquette to send a text or something saying "yeah, sorry. You freaked me out and now I think you're a psycho who escaped from a mental hospital. Raincheck?"

I then did what anyone would do. I wondered.

I found the beach and walked up and down it, talking with Kimberly. I found a beach volleyball game and watched for a while. I made up my mind that I'd like get out and play with them soon. I don't know if I need to join a team or something or just show up and ask to join. But I'm going to wait until I get my contacts so I can have awesome sunglasses (these clip-on ones are no good when it comes to sports and getting whacked in the face with a ball). Maybe March/April? I found Hard Rock Cafe. Which I had missed in 2011 when I came for my visit the first time. I told my woes to my waitress (she just sat herself down at my table at first. She was all, "what's up? How's your day?" So why wouldn't I tell her I got stood up?). She gave me a 15% discount on my alcoholic beverage even though it was a happy hour drink already. So my $26 meal only cost me $19. I tipped her a $5 because that's the only bill I had. If I had a $10 she would have gotten that one instead. I'm still getting used to this carrying cash thing. It's weird. She convinced me to stay and watch the sunset on Waikiki, which I hadn't seen yet. And so I did. And here's some pictures...

(as seen from TheBus on my way to Waikiki)

(Waikiki Beach)

(Waikiki Beach)

(Waikiki Beach)

(beach volleyball! They segregate here -- guys to the left, girls on the right. The girls have a shorter net. I also noticed the courts were shorter, too. I'm assuming that has something to do with the sand and only having two players on the court. I can't wait to get out there! I could have watched these guys go at it all day. But my stomach started grumbling which leads me to the next picture...)

(Blue Hawaiian = bliss after a hot day outside!)

(Da Kine Burger. You can't see it but there's sausage on the burger. And those fries have some sort of seaweed coating stuff on them. Delicious! I would go back just for those fries. And the burger. And the drink. So.. yeah, I'll be back.)

(first beach I plopped on after HRC. The waves got too frisky so I decided to park it somewhere else.)

(still the first spot, I think)

(lovely. Still the first spot)

(from where I was sitting this looked like a freaking Pirate ship! It was awesome.)

(My final resting spot.)

By this time, my phone battery was getting scary-low. And I still had to find the right bus routes home. So I left right before sunset and found a bench to sit on. And sit I did! For what felt like an hour but I'm sure was only... well... An hour. But when your phone is dying and you don't have a book to read... It's a really long time, OK. TheBus finally came and I got on. I got off too soon. But I was still able to find my next route. The good ol' 52! I saw it and started dancing. I fist pumped the air. I had been looking at my bus app and it was saying the stop I was at didn't have a 52 anywhere near it. LIAR! So I parked it on the bus and didn't get off until my park and ride. I got in my car and came home. 

And now I'm laying in bed, thinking I want to go north tomorrow to Haleiwa. That's where I did my shark diving the last time I was here. This time, I think I'll just stay on the shore and read my damn book. I'll still be taking the 52. ;-)

Aloha from Oahu!

LC